For me, there's nothing more demoralising than having to get dressed to go out. Getting dressed to go anywhere, even out to walk the dog or down to the shops, is pretty misery inducing, but having to get dressed up for a night out is even worse. At the moment I pretty much live in two stretchy black dresses, for literally everything. I don't think my friends have seen me in anything else for months and months and months. One dress is even developing little fraying patches so I know it's not long for this world (and also looking ratty). I couldn't bear to wear the same thing tonight, so I hauled out the contents of my wardrobe and tried so many things on. Most I couldn't get into any more. Some I'd never been able to wear - bought them when they were a little too snug and optimistically hung on to them. I actually have SO MANY CLOTHES. I used to love clothes, back when I could go shopping in a normal shop. Now I have a wardrobe full of things bought in desperation that I still never wear. I've settled on a navy high neck dress I used to wear to work, which is now rather too tight, but as it has a sheer overlay layer that is a little looser, I'm hoping to get away with it. I'm trying to dress it up with a coloured belt and some kind of statement jewellery - the last refuge of the fashion conscious fat girl.
I wish it were less depressing tonight, given I'm currently doing fairly well at the dieting. But it's not. It's just as awful as ever.
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