Things have not been going well. After a difficult start to the week last week I just increasingly lost my ability to keep it together, my motivation disappeared, and to put it bluntly, everything just went to crap.
So I am hoping today I can get myself back together and start tracking and calorie counting again.
I'm trying not to be too angry with myself - not because I don't deserve it, but because it's counterproductive - but it's hard. Falling so spectacularly off the wagon after only 3 weeks of dieting is quite a feat. I didn't weigh myself this morning, and I don't know if that's a good thing or not. I don't want to avoid the truth but I also think that a bad number might just exacerbate the desire to throw in the towel.
Another thing that annoys me is that it's not like I was spending these extra calories on exciting restaurant meals, or anything memorable. I was just zoning out eating toast, muesli bars, and oatcakes with butter, because that's what I had in the house. What a stupid waste.
I really need to work on finding new ways to deal with anxiety and unpleasant emotions, but it's hard to kick the habits of a lifetime, and when I'm in the moment it's like I genuinely don't care that I'm ruining my diet/going to put on weight. I lose all perspective. Somehow I need to avoid getting to that point. God knows how.
Plan for the day
Breakfast - rye bread with goats cheese, tea
Lunch - salad with boiled eggs and anchovies
Dinner - stir fried fish with asian vegetables, brown rice
Snack - piece of fruit
So I am hoping today I can get myself back together and start tracking and calorie counting again.
I'm trying not to be too angry with myself - not because I don't deserve it, but because it's counterproductive - but it's hard. Falling so spectacularly off the wagon after only 3 weeks of dieting is quite a feat. I didn't weigh myself this morning, and I don't know if that's a good thing or not. I don't want to avoid the truth but I also think that a bad number might just exacerbate the desire to throw in the towel.
Another thing that annoys me is that it's not like I was spending these extra calories on exciting restaurant meals, or anything memorable. I was just zoning out eating toast, muesli bars, and oatcakes with butter, because that's what I had in the house. What a stupid waste.
I really need to work on finding new ways to deal with anxiety and unpleasant emotions, but it's hard to kick the habits of a lifetime, and when I'm in the moment it's like I genuinely don't care that I'm ruining my diet/going to put on weight. I lose all perspective. Somehow I need to avoid getting to that point. God knows how.
Plan for the day
Breakfast - rye bread with goats cheese, tea
Lunch - salad with boiled eggs and anchovies
Dinner - stir fried fish with asian vegetables, brown rice
Snack - piece of fruit
It doesn't matter how many times or at what interval you slip up. If you can try and use the experience to learn something that's great, or if not you just shrug and keep on going. Anxiety is a biatch though - and the trouble is, our response behaviours become so deeply ingrained it's incredibly tough to work against them. Just take it one day at a time for now.
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