I feel a bit lost at the moment. I've been trucking along in a very inconsistent fashion. Some days, especially on social occasions, I go way over calories. Other days I'm counting. I tried to do a fast day on Monday but didn't quite manage to stick to 500, and got to 720 calories instead.
I did weigh myself last week and I was down 6 pounds which makes me think the previous weigh in was a bit of an anomaly due to water weight or something. So it's not as bad as I thought, but still 4 pounds up which is annoying.
I just can't seem to get into a groove. I keep changing my mind about whether I should do low carb or not, and if so, how strictly, and how many calories I should be aiming for, or if I should even count calories at all. Or only count some of the time, as I've done this week.
I'm also torn between wanting to be really strict and knuckle down before my US holiday (6 weeks away) or try to be more moderate and avoid a sudden crash and burn loss of momentum.
I'm weighing myself next on Saturday so I guess I'll reassess then.
I've written here before about not really feeling like I've found my people. I have friends here, but the people I'm closest to and I like the best all live in other cities. It's lonely. And it's been particularly obvious of late because my friends here have become obsessed with health and fitness and weight loss. One girl, formerly a size 8, now size 4-6, talks constantly about it with our other 2 friends, size 4 and 6 respectively. I can't really join in the conversation because I don't go to their exercise classes and I feel too embarrassed to discuss weight (one admitted recently to another that she used to weigh herself 2-3 times a day. I also do not want to be reminded of that kind of disordered obsession which has never helped me in the past). And I would find such discussion tedious in the extreme at the best of times, but when I'm sitting near them a size 16-18, it's also so fucking awkward! They don't tend to include me in the conversation which I don't if it feels better or worse, but either way, hanging out with them recently has been both highly embarrassing and highly boring.
Maybe I need new friends.
Poor you. I think (with my tough love hat on) you need to just decide what you're doing and stick to it - consistency is what gets results. With my entirely sympathetic hat on, I completely understand the struggle to get going and the self doubt that starts to creep in. So I guess maybe it's a one day at a time kind of jobby for now.
ReplyDeleteAs for the friends bit - I feel your pain! Although I think that I'm becoming less sociable as I get older - I just can't be bothered to pretend to be enjoying people's company anymore when I'm not.
Chin up.
Sx
I have no words of wisdom re diets (obv) so am going to sieze upon the US mention (I'm so easily distracted...): where?
ReplyDeleteWe're headed to Chicago, NY, Washington DC, San Francisco and Seattle. I'm definitely not one of those people who can stay on track on holidays (nor do I particularly want to be to honest as food is one of the biggest pleasures of travelling) so I definitely want to get a reasonable loss as I fully expect to have to lose most of it again when I get home. The reason for the trip, incidentally, is for H to run the Chicago marathon. Yep, a distance runner married to a very fat woman. Awkward.
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