Positive thinking

I managed my fast day today, with relatively little difficulty. I think my overwhelming feeling is just relief, that I managed to get back on the wagon. Partly it was easy because I woke up still feeling stuffed and slightly ill. But also, I think, because the fast day limits my choices so severely. Often after a binge or slide off the rails the question of what to eat can feel so loaded, so immense, it's almost overwhelming. When you've only got 500 calories to play with, I just default to one of my usual small number of options. Or maybe I got back on track because I still have a bit of determination to lose this bloody weight. Whatever it is, I'm not exactly feeling good about the whole debacle, or even overly optimistic about the future, but I'm feeling calmer, and I've managed to draw a line under it, which in itself is a godsend.

I've still been cringingly reliving my awful interview and exam on an almost hourly basis. But at least I've managed today to cope in a relatively normal way.