I'm back from holidays, but absolutely not back to dieting.
We had a great time in Europe, but after the first few days where I managed to remain pretty conscious of what I was eating, I slowly slipped if to full on holiday mode free for all. I didn't skip a single meal. In fact, I usually had multi course meals. I did none of my planned fasting periods. I leapt at any opportunity to indulge my gluttony, even when I wasn't that hungry. My eating habits were wildly out of control by the time I got back, I haven't reined them in at all - if anything, they've gotten worse. I got off the plane and scarfed a family size bag of chips and a block of chocolate within about 3 hours of being back home. I am trying not to beat myself up about it as I know that's not productive, but I do feel a bit hopeless. And even then, the motivation to improve is just nowhere in sight. I haven't weighed myself - perhaps that will shock me into action? I just can't muster up interest in planing nice meals or cooking or any of that lot. Calorie counting seems painfully tedious. Fasting seems completely impossible. And yet I have to get back to it! I just don't know how to get out of this embarrassingly cliched cycle of always resolving that the diet starts tomorrow!
In non diet related news, while I was on holiday I got an offer to go to a conference for a bit of paid work - hurrah! So that little stint did wonders for my mood and confidence. I am wrapping up the work this week and hopefully there may be some more to come from that.
Before I arrived there, I was googling the other attendees and when I saw a photo of one of them I felt pure physical relief at the realisation that I would not be the fattest person there. What a miserable thought, and a miserable way to live. I must get past this, buckle down, and get back on the diet track.
